Thanks so much for ALL the wonderful, thoughtful and funny Birthday shout-outs! It buoyed up my spirit and made we want to strive to be the person that you all say I am! Thanks for your confidence in me and for seeing me without my flaws in the way! Thanks Jolyn for starting the chain of wonderfulness by "hacking" in to my blog and posting it. I love you dearly!
Today has been a really reflective day, humbling, and emotional day for me. It is amazing to me how many emotions you can feel in a matter of a week and today they all came to the surface. These reflections included my own discouragements, people I love who I know are hurting and going through tempests great and small which also hurts me greatly to know they are hurting. Disappointment from not getting the job I so greatly desired, and the unknown that seems to be going on alot in my life as of late.
There are so many times when I let myself feel so inadequate and my thoughts get the better of me and yet even when everything seems to be so heart wrenching there is still such hope, such joy and such miracles and such opportunities for growth to be found, right underneath our very noses!
Today was one of those days where you know there is a brighter tomorrow. First off... the inevitable happened to me today, I was released from my calling as second counselor in the relief society (our church's women's group) and given the assignment as Sunday School teacher! In my mind I have always thought that is the most dreaded assignment for me to have. I struggle with all the differing opinions and tangents that sometimes accompany these classes and to have to juggle them I feel so un-prepared and not scholarly enough to have that responsibility. After a nervous breakdown in the Bishops office, he gave me the faith that this is what will bless my life at this time and that will increase my strength and endurance through the trials that beset us all. I was humbled. I was feeling so inadequate. After talking with my Mom (who is my hero) and getting on my knees, I am ready for the challenge. I know that in this situation I just need to set aside all the stereotypes that I feel is expected of me and just teach and testify of the things I KNOW are true in the scriptures. Thinking of it that way, it doesn't seem so daunting.
My roommate Michelle gave a great talk in church on overcoming adversity and referenced the talk by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin in the Oct 2008 conference, "Come What May, and Love it!". I am nannying a family of teens right now and they didn't want me to entertain them tonight (although I did con them into a game of Sorry!) so I entertained myself by reading this talk! What a great choice I made in doing this! I have now printed this talk and plan to have it close by forever! I just wanted to remember a few things that stuck out to me...
**Every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds
don't sing and bells don't ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser and happier as a result.
**Learn to laugh: the next time you're tempted to groan, you might try to laugh instead. It will extend your life and make the lives of all those around you more enjoyable.
**Seek for the eternal: Learning to endure times of disappointment, suffering, and sorrow is part of our on-the-job training. These experiences while often difficult to bear at the time, are precisely the kind of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character,
and increase our compassion.
**Understand the principle of compensation: The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."
My heart has been so touched today as I realize that no matter what any of us are going through we will get through it and once again be able to say, "Come what may, and love it!"
To all of my friends and family with heavy hearts know that I love you. I am rooting for you and believe in the principle of compensation! Hang on there.. it does pay off.. everyday my discouragement has become smaller and smaller through the hope and prayers of all of you!