Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Tribute Tuesday: Ode to being 30 and SINGLE!

This blog is aleast 8 yrs overdue.. cause I have been ready to get married since then! But lately I have been thinking a lot about the stigma of being old and "SINGLE" and realizing more than ever in my life that I am okay with the fact that I am single. I know of God's love for me and know that he is aware of me and wants the best for me, so I am willing to have the faith and make the best of it. Although Single has been my way of life-for my WHOLE life and I have accepted that, there definately are some drawbacks to being single, in a church where marriage is the way to make it in this world! I am serious, I have been to several weddings and cried at them (not because I was single) but because I am happy for the couple and have literally had friends and family come up to console me that I too would find my mate and to not be sad about. That annoys me! Am I not able to feel the same emotins as those who are married? Please don't ever do that to someone it is ANNOYING! hahhah My friend Andrea so beautifully put the hard parts of this stigma on her blog and I stole it cause it is so true! (I did change my age howeever so that it applies to me, sorry Andrea!)

-just because I am single does not make me useless to society.

- i am 30 years old and i can count on one hand the number of times i have been asked out by a guy. (although hard at times - i am fine with this.) however - this doesn’t mean that it is my fault - sometimes it just is the way things are.

- just because I am single does not mean i have more time than those who are married or have children or both. we are all busy in our own ways.

- just because I am single does not mean that I have a problem (although it can sometimes be the case I am speaking for myself. . I am not perfect - I know this - and i have things i can work on - we all have things we can work on.)

- certain things that are said can and do hurt my feelings although i try VERY HARD not to let them. I don’t think I have chosen, nor have most of my single friends chosen to be in my/our current situation. (to some degree)

- just because i am single does not mean my statements, comments or observations about life are pointless. we are all different and come from different backgrounds that is what makes us great.

- being single is difficult for its own reasons and great for its others. Just like being married, having kids, being single again, divorced whatever it is - they all have reasons to not like them or be happy they occurred.

- being 30 and single, does not mean i am anti dating, bitter towards men or too picky.

- just because i am single does not mean that i do not understand that marriage is hard nor do i think it is the only path to happiness and that it is complete bliss.

- being single does not mean that i sit around all day praying that someday mr. right will come along and sweep me off my feet. I have more to live for than the waiting game. however to say that i have never thought about mr. right - would be a lie.

- just because i am single does not mean i am crazy - therefore still single.

- just because I am single does not mean i do not know how to flirt, that i don’t go to parties, hang out with people or have any friends that are guys.

- being single i have had to be independent. this does not mean i do not want to be treated like a lady or that I want to do it all by myself - it just means I have had to.

- just because i am single, a woman and the bread winner does not mean i do not at some point in my life want to be a mom.

- just because finding the one was easy for you(an impersonal you) - does not make it “easy” for me

I realize that all of these things do not apply to all those that are single - however they are my thoughts. I also realize that we all have room to grow, change, improve and learn from each other. I am in no way perfect or have it all figured out. . . again. . . these are just some of my thoughts. I also realize that we could all write a list weather we are single, engaged, married, divorced, widowed etc.
-by Andrea -

On reflecting on the truths of Andrea's statements, I realized that there are some really funny things associated with the word "SINGLE". Why is it that your best friend could be in the relationship from you know where, your cousin could be in an awful abusive marriage,
but people still feel sorry for you for being single? Is something wrong here? Single life can the most exciting time of your life! Right?!
I'm going to make myself believe this for the time atleast!! Don't get me wrong, I have FANTASTIC examples in my life of AMAZING marriages. I am most definately NOT anti-marriage, it would make me very blessed to get the chance to find love. But while I am single, it's fun to find the quirks in the other.. Get it? Got it? GOOD! So here I have listed the reasons that make single life worth it when you don't have a choice!

The Top 40 Reasons being single can be beneficial...

You can do all sorts of odd jobs so that you have more freedom to travel the world with friends.

You can continue relationships with life-long friends of the oposite sex, without anyone being jealous or restricting it

You can do whatever you darn well please

Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face

Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now

You can leave bra and other unmentionables in view

You can slump around the house in any old thing

You can go out and flirt as much as your heart desires, without a worry in the world

The toilet seat issue -- need I say more?

You can finally see all the good videos -- the romantic, cheesy, chick flick films

You can get the juice/ice cream/toilet paper/videos/CDs/take-out meals that you want

You can spend as much time as you want with your family and friends

No needless exposure to foulness, burping, gas and so on (unless you have roommates)

Never worry if the milk carton or juice bottles have been directly drunken out of

You are free at a party to talk to who you please, and you don't always have to turn to and say 'Hon, let's go over and talk to so and so

You can watch Oprah, The View, figure skating, and cooking/decorating shows without having to defend yourself

You can buy what you want at the grocery store. So what if you want to have spaghetti four nights in a row

You can talk to your girlfriends for hours on the phone without getting dirty, exasperated looks

No more checking with someone to see if 'it's okay' to tell someone yes or no to an invitation. You can accept on the spot

You don't have to do laundry because he has no clean socks or underware

You can fill the fridge with fresh fruit and veggies, bottled water, skim milk, applesauce and chocolate instead of cold cuts, steak and Mountain dew

No more Xbox or PlayStation, Steven Seagal or Jackie Chan. You are free to watch Emeril and Ming Tsai three times a day if you want

You no longer have to reassure him that he does indeed look like the popular movie stars

You can be happy with who you are, not who he wants you to be

If you are depressed or mad at the world for a few minutes, you don't have to worry about having your 'outlook on life' analyzed

You can buy something for yourself (a new dress, CD, shoes, or whatever) without being asked, 'What do you need that for?

You can eat garlic or onions without a second thought about breath mints

You don't have to give yourself lame excuses for not devoting time to yourself

No one is going to get insulted when you spend the day at the pool checking out the lifeguards

You can have eight hours of undisturbed sleep with the covers all to yourself

You can go to bed in flannel and plaid rather than Victoria

If you tidy up your apartment, it will STAY neat until YOU mess it up again!(unless you have roommates!)

You can spend your paycheck on what you want

You don't have to worry if he will or won't call

No more arguments about things you can't explain

You can have a clean bathroom with the toilet seat where you want it

Not only are your dinners free when you go out on those first dates, but they take you out to nice places

No snoring!

You can have privacy... get dressed, shower and go the bathroom in peace!

You can have a good attitude about being single and write about all of the quirks about being married :)
On Sunday we had an awesome lesson by Sister Shari Johnson. She taught us about 'NECESSARY PAIN" and how we all have to go through it to be able to recieve the blessings we are promised. And that we just need to focus on truth. And deal with the present not the past, nor the future.
The truth is that I am single.
The truth is that there is pain attatched with being single.
The truth is I can choose how to handle that pain.
And the truth is I am going to have a good attitude, trust in the Lord, laugh at the quirks and be single with a smile until I get through this necessary pain stage and on to the next phase of my life..
-the end for now :)


Jamie said...

Amen. Very well put!

Amber said...

Your'e awesome! You are a great example of single life, for sure!

Stephanie said...

I loved that! You are such a good person. I would have to say too, all those are very very good things to be thankful for about being single!

The Burners said...

i love this post!!! ok, before i make my comment, i want you to know that i am VERY happily married. BUT - there are times where I think "life would be so much easier if I were single" !! ::Sigh:: the grass is always greener on the other side! you are amazing and awesome! i just blame it on your future husband that Heavenly Father is shaping up so he deserves to have you eternally!

Angie said...

Do you know what the funny thing is about this? I never think of you as "single" because I never see you alone! You are always with people, enjoying all the relationships in your life. All these relationships will just prepare you for the eternal one you get someday, until then...continue with the fabulous, fun, flirty, and single life you're living!

Meg said...

Ang, you are so right... I am such a people person.. I need those sweet relationships in my life! I am glad I don't have to be all alone and single! :)

Amy Jensen said...

I think there are pros and cons for every situation but trust me there are days I wish I was single....toilet seat up, socks on the floor all the time, uncontrollable nagging!!! I love ya and if and when Mr. Right shows up you just always have to remember things always happen in the lords timing. Trust me it is far worse being married to a complete a**hole than being single. I would know after my first marriage...

Meg said...

Amen Ames! Hense why I said "why is it that your COusin could be with an "ABUSIVE" husband yet single is worse to others! :) I would NEVER want to go through what my mom, you or Val have gone through. I will stay single without complaint if it keeps me from a nightmare marriage trust me! That is why I put the benefits of being single. Love you Amy Nicole!

Julie Erickson said...

My Dad always told us when we left the house "Where ever you are, BE THERE." I have learned from that, that I was my happiest when I was single and now I am my happiest now that miracles happen and I am married. Please forgive all the not-so-smart people who make comments about older singles. I'm not sure they understand that you can truly be happy in any stage of life! I love you Meggers.

Kris said...

you know, when I was single I dreaded weddings, especially when the bride threw her bouquet. I was sometimes embarrassed to be in the pile of single people, and never wanted to catch the thing, knowing that the winks and nudges would come. Awkward!

I didn't throw a bouquet at my wedding.

you're great Meg.

Mindy said...

My favorite was the independent one ... we are because we have to be ... Yet, so many guys have implied that I was "too" independent for them. Hahaha. If you'd married me I wouldn't be! ;)